Stop, No, Weight Podcast

Why does being fat make you less attractive? Do men struggle with body image? How much does race play into all of this? Stop, No, Weight addresses the issues and questions we've all been avoiding but are desperate to discuss.
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Aug 18, 2016

We take a second (and final) crack at attraction as we try to decide how and why our bodies play such a large role in deciding what's beautiful and what's not. And what happens when a guy JB previously liked wants to come on the show and say a few things? It's getting a little crazy on this week's episode. 

  • a year and a half ago
    Hey! I greatly enjoyed listening to this podcast; the honesty provoked much thought and enforced some truths. It is complete in its own but I just wanted to throw a possibly new perspective out there for funsies.

    I realize the aesthetics of physical attraction in our society holds much importance, but I feel like we don’t often dig deeper into why the aesthetic would be important when initially filtering possible mates. I don’t think the issue is purely preference and social pressure. There is an underlying very natural inclination to be attracted to a healthy individual. We are much less likely to be attracted to someone who is emaciated or overweight because of that internal gauge that warns you this person is fragile. It's a survival instinct.

    In wondering why I could never fully commit to a person who is “excessively”overweight, I realized that throughout the relationship, in the back of my mind, statistics about life expectancy were constantly playing. I've learned that one of my fundamental values is an appreciation for the body God has given you and a desire to take care of it. The outward appearance is something that can give you a quick (and granted, sometimes faulty) insight into how a person handles stress, how much emotional baggage they have, do they enjoy active or sedentary activities, and do they practice self-control/ have the ability to delay gratification. These conclusions can definitely be false, and don’t completely rule out these issues. Example: extreme exercise and obsession with fitness can reveal a poor reaction to stress, high amounts of emotional baggage, and an over-valuing control in one’s life. But then you have the concrete factors; an obese person’s life expectancy is lower, they are at higher risk for preventable illnesses and depression, more money is going to be needed to maintain health as that person ages, and the physiology of fat cells means that if they do lose weight their body will relentlessly be telling them they are starving. It is a constant struggle and one with many implications. I say this as someone who was raised by obese persons and as a medical professional.

    So if I am to be completely honest with myself, I am concerned that if my significant other encounters health issues, I don't want to have to convince myself it wasn't their fault. I want to be shocked and know that we did everything possible to maintain health and not have the daily struggle of wondering if they’d eaten differently and exercised more rigorously that they wouldn't be experiencing this now.

    The point being, there are very real repercussions of marrying someone who is obese, and maybe those people who aren’t willing to do so aren’t simply shallow, but practical and maybe a little scared.

    Well, excuse my inability to be brief. I hope it’s a beneficial thought at the price of it being offensive. Please disagree or point out other perspectives. Thank you for sharing and starting a great conversation about dating and singleness and such :)